I didn’t allow my children speak English at home — Omole, ex-OAU VC

A former Vice-Chancellor of the Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, Osun State, Prof. Wale Omole, shares his views about what makes a father.

What are the major things a father must know?

A father must know that being a father is an assignment from God. He must know that the children he has are not his property; he is only working for God to raise them on earth. He cannot play god to them. He must ensure that he trains them in the ways of God. A father must do everything to train his children and not depend on school training. The school is there only to reinforce the good values a child has imbibed from his parents. One should not think the school is there to teach the children values. It is there to confirm the fact that a father has done a good job. A father must also be a role model to his children. The mother is closer to the children as she bathes and gets them ready for school. But the father is the one they see as their role model. They study and copy him. He must treat them with respect, authority and ensure that they grow up with good values.

Fathers must love their children, properly train and not spoil them. They should not create an impression of being ‘big men’ to them. It is important that they allow them to experience the reality of development. Do not try to impress your children. Do not give them what you cannot afford. If death comes any day, they will be able to survive since they have learnt to be self-reliant. All these worked for me.

In those days, whenever I took my children for shopping, I always told them that one should not buy things because one can afford or want them. One should buy things only because one needs them. They believed me because as their father, one is next to God. Children tend to believe their fathers especially if they see them leading by example. God trained my children for me.

I do not pray to be a billionaire. I am contented with what I the little I have. I am happy with the joy I get from my family.

While growing up, was your father your role model?

Yes he was in many ways. My late father, Adedeji Omole, really demonstrated this. I learnt a lot of things from him. He was disciplined and never ate carelessly. He did not eat pepper and I also took after him in that regard. I do not eat pepper. I laugh each time I hear that people who do not eat pepper may not live long. I am over 70 years now. I also do not like eating outside and eat only once a day.

When did you become a father?

I became a father at the age of 34 in 1976. I was not particular about the gender. I am not that kind of person. I wanted two children and my wife wanted four. We eventually had three children. The first is a female, the second a male and the third is a female. I have no problem if they are all males likewise if they are all females. The training one gives one’s child is the most important thing. It is not the gender. If one gives one’s child proper training, they will impress one with the kind of progress they will make. He taught us well and particularly trained us to be honest. It was thus easy passing godly values to my children. Also in school, I had white teachers who taught us that honesty is the best policy. Any child that is not well trained is bound to disappoint his or her parents and also be useless to the society.

What were the things you helped your wife to handle when the children were young?

Omole with his family members and grandchildren

I did not do much of school runs when the children were born. If my wife was busy, I assisted her to do what needed to be done. I did not partition roles. We are jointly responsible to them. My wife is very good at taking care of the home. She is a very wonderful woman that God gave me. If there was anything she was doing somewhere, I quickly do what ought to be done. I do not like seeing children crying. I will quickly find how to carry and pet them. It is my nature. I still do that for my grandchildren. I did all I could do to take care of my children.

How did you discipline your children?

Occasionally, when they were young and did something wrong, I smacked them. I never used the cane on my children. I do not believe in corporal punishment. I am not saying it is wrong but for me, I never used it. It is my principle. I never had any problems with my children. We are close and discuss a lot. The drawers in the house were always left open. If my children needed money and I had travelled, they would call me with the Nigerian Telecommunications pay phone then to ask for my permission. It did not matter whether the amount they used in calling was more than the money they wanted to ask for my permission to take. Before I said something, they did it and it is still the same way with them even as the females are mothers now.

 Also, my children do not speak English to me. It is Yoruba. Even when my son, Damola, was teaching in the United States, he would call and say, ‘Ekaro, se alafia ni gbogbo ile wa (Good morning. I hope everybody is fine). He would not speak English to me.

During my birthday, my daughter gave the vote of thanks and many people thought she lived abroad and only came home for the ceremony. It is because of her English accent. I didn’t allow them speak English at home but they speak it fluently.

It is a culture I developed and passed on to them. If one can learn science and other languages and do it well, we should also teach our children English as a course and not relegate our mother tongue. I am very interested in Yoruba language. I chair the Yoruba Academy worldwide. Yoruba is very important and I love the language. I also love my country. I do not want to live in any other country other than Nigeria. I do not want to belong to any other group. I prefer being a Yoruba man. I am content with what I have. I do not want to be born by any other parents. When I was in the US on sabbatical and I was to be given a permanent job, I politely declined. A delegation was sent to me twice in Nigeria. It was a difficult time in Nigeria at the time and ‘Andrew was checking out.’

Many people were at the embassies to leave the country. No matter how difficult it is in Nigeria, it is our country. We should water our pastures to make it green.

What advice did you give your children in terms of relationship?

Thank you for this question. If one does not have peace in marriage, nothing will work for one. I told my children to be sure of the person they are dealing with. They should know whether the person is sincere because I know that they will be sincere with whoever they are dating since they were brought up to be sincere. I do not choose for them. I also did not influence their career choices. What children need is good background. Let them know their strengths and weaknesses. I teach my grandchildren some courses. I do not do that because I want them to choose their careers from the courses. They will choose their preferred disciplines based on passion. One will only have to encourage them. Marriage is very important.

Would you have loved to do some things differently as a father?

Let me tell you that God has been very kind to me. Great is His faithfulness. I wrote in the programme for my birthday celebration the popular hymn:  Great is Thy faithfulness! /Great is Thy faithfulness! /Morning by morning new mercies I see/All I have needed Thy hand hath provided/Great is Thy faithfulness, Lord unto me!.

I took decisions that looked stupid but God blessed them. Let me summarise this with the names given to my grandchildren. My first granddaughter is named Anjolaoluwa (We bask in the grace of God) while my second granddaughter is Oreofeoluwa (Free gift from God). My first grandson is christened Oluwatobiloba (God is awesome) and my second grandson is Ifeoluwa (Love of God). These are names deliberately given to them to give thanks to God because I cannot take credit or glory for anything. God makes everything possible for me. This is why it will be difficult for me to write a memoir because it will look so superlative that people will say I am telling lies about the story of my life.

While you were a vice-chancellor, many students might have looked up to you as a father-figure. How were you able to perform this role effectively?

I did that to the best of my ability. The issue that we have in the university is that the parents of most students have no time for them. Hence, the students try to imitate the behaviours of friends rather than copy their parents. I am highly disciplined and most times, I took difficult decisions. For example, in 1994, computer was not as popular as it is now in Nigeria. The varsity did some pioneering efforts in this regard.  I directed that every student must take two courses in computer regardless of his or her course of study. I said so because I sensed that if they refused to learn about it, they would become unemployable after graduation. The students protested.

The minister of education at the time called to tell me to handle the case well and not allow it generate. I said as the vice-chancellor, I was their father and wanted the best for them. I explained that my determination was to train them for their own good. My daughter was also a student then. Later, the students blocked the entrance to the university and the following day, I shut the school. Their parents came to plead that I should reverse the closure. I told them that the directive that they should register for computer was for their development. Sometimes, I played football with them. Ego is not my problem. I have no problem about position but I always want to do what is right.

(PUNCH)