Listen up ladies, here are a few things you should know about having sex.
There is so much information about sex out there. How do you
sift out all the myths from the truth? Well, ladies, here are some
things you should know about sex.
There’s more to a man than his penis: Yes, it is the
most sensitive part of his body and it definitely needs and deserves
your attention. But know that there are other parts of his body that can
turn him on too. For instance his lips, neck, ear lobes, chest, back,
nape, inner thighs and groin. Kiss, touch and caress these areas. Give
them enough attention and you’ll see how excited he becomes.
The bottom line: Men love to be pampered and caressed too. Give his body some attention just as you’d like him to do for you.
He doesn’t notice your flaws: No matter how terrible
you think you look in the buff, know that the urge to have sex is far
stronger than all those flaws you think you have. According to Iam
Kerner, author of the book ‘She Comes First’, during sexual arousal the
neurochemical cocktail that courses through a man’s body is very high,
and he often gets so wrapped up in the feeling that he is too overjoyed
to notice your flaws. So put aside your body-image issue and have as
much fun as he is having. .
The bottom line: You are beautiful, just the way you
are. Don’t doubt it. The more confident you are, the sexier you’ll be
to him. Plus a confident you is more likely to enjoy sex than one who is
worrying about how she looks and feels.
The first time with a man may not be perfect: The
first time you have sex with a partner, it may not be perfect. It can be
awkward and the two of you may require some practice to get each
other’s rhythms right (yes, there is a rhythm). So if it’s not the most
mind-blowing sex you’ve had the first time, don’t judge him or the
experience. Give it some time and you’ll see that it does get better
with time.
The bottom line: Allow for some leeway the first time around.
Move with him: Thrusting or moving is not the
responsibility of the man alone. You should move too. Try to find his
rhythm and match it. Your moving to his speed and motion will intensify
the pleasure you both feel and what’s more, you’ll be more proactive!
Which, by the way, is a huge turn on. So move and moan. Tell him what
you want and how you like it.
The bottom line: Thrusting is important, don’t just lay there.
Men like it when you are proactive: Being proactive
in bed, and when it comes to sex, is a big turn on for men. Don’t let
him be the only one initiating the act, show him you want it too
sometimes. Whisper in his ear and tell him what you’d like him to do to
you or better still, message him your intentions. You could even dress
up sexily one night and entice him. Apart from that, while you both are
having sex or even during foreplay, pleasure him too. Don’t be the one
hogging all the attention. Sex is a lot more than just penetration.
The bottom line: Making the first move does not make
you anything but a woman who knows what she wants. Don’t shy away from
it. And if a man finds that unattractive, maybe you need to rethink the
situation.
Take some time out for yourself before sex: It is
important you unwind before you have sex. All the stress of the day’s
work, family, friends and household chores can put a dampener on your
sex drive. So instead of just jumping into the sack, take some time off,
have a hot shower, relax and then you’ll be ready to have some
steaming, hot sex.
The bottom line: Sometimes, putting yourself first is essential for a good experience, right?
The more you have of it the more you’ll want it: Sex
makes you feel good and your body remember that. Therefore, once you’ve
had some of that yummy pie, you’ll definitely want some more
(especially if it was great). So acknowledge that feeling and know that
it is normal. Don’t guilt yourself into thinking that it is not the
right thing to do or feel.
The bottom line: Go, get your man and show him how much you want him. We promise it’ll be really hot!
Don’t worry about orgasming: Thinking about the fact
that you want to orgasm or that it may not happen is the perfect way
to ruin your chances of having one. Not only does it make you extremely
anxious, but it also reduces the flow of the happy hormone, and tenses
you up — making it more difficult for you to experience an orgasm. So,
just enjoy the moment. Every aspect of his touch can be enjoyable — the
orgasm will happen all on its own.
You can touch yourself during the act: Sometimes you
just need to give your man a hand and touch yourself. This can be
extremely sexy for the man you are with. Not only will you be able to
help the guy out, but you’ll also turn him on.
The bottom line: There are instances when you
touching yourself can be very hot and then there are those times when
your man may not really like it. So gauge how he feels about it, and
then proceed.
Focusing is important: There are a number of times
when women have too much on their mind and tend to get distracted
extremely easily. But, when you are having sex try to focus all your
attention on the act at hand. This will not only help you be an active
part of the entire process but it will feel so much better.
The bottom line: Once you stop your mind from
wandering to other thoughts you’ll see the difference. A good way to do
that is to actually participate, talk to your partner, touch feel and
move with him.
Feeling guilty doesn’t help: There will be times
when either your partner is unable to perform or doesn’t have an orgasm.
Then there are those moments when you wish you had done something
differently. There is no need to feel guilty. You can always try once
again. If it bothers you too much, talk to your partner and figure out
what the problem could be.
Kegels is the key: Kegel’s exercise is great for
you. It strengthen and tone your PC (pubococcygeal) muscles which help
you tighten them during sex making your orgasms more intense and sex
much more pleasurable.
You might experience pain during sex, don’t panic:
Some amount of pain when you are having sex for the first time is
normal. Even if it is at some point later, it could be due to dryness in
your vagina. If that is the problem consider using a good lubricant.
But if the pain is persistent then it is a good idea to get checked by
your gynaecologist.
Always pee and clean-up after the act: No matter how
strong the urge is to cuddle, make sure you get up and pee after you
have had sex. Apart from that you must make sure you clean up the area
with some warm water. Why? all of this will keep your privates healthy
and safe from infections like UTI (urinary tract infections).
Sex gets better with age and experience: It
absolutely does. You know what to expect, you are better at it and you
are more tuned into what your body want, likes and wishes it would have.
So don’t think of age as a barrier, instead think of it as a wonderful
boon that make things so much better.
It’s okay to masturbate even if you are in a monogamous relationship:
There are times when you just want to pleasure yourself. This is
absolutely normal too. And if you feel guilty about have your partner
join the fun and watch you masturbate.
Don’t fake an orgasm: Yes, it’s normal to do, but it
isn’t the best practice. While you might do it to help make your
partner feel better know that it sends out the wrong message. If what he
is doing does not make you feel good and he doesn’t know about it, how
is he ever going to know that he has to change his technique? Instead of
faking it, tell him that it’s not working out for you and tell him how
you’d like it.