In this post, Dr Margaret Redelman,
doctor and medical sex therapist busts some of the common myths about
female masturbation and assures our readers that it isn’t just a male
activity:
Despite the fact that it’s
considered biologically abnormal, the truth is that masturbation is a
very common activity in both humans and animals. Sadly, many people who
masturbate feel ashamed or embarrassed about it. Many wrongly believe
that masturbation is deviant, dangerous and sinful. It is not any of
these things!
Simply speaking, it involves the
sexual stimulation of the genitals usually to the point of orgasm and
can be solo, parallel or mutual with a partner. While people mostly
masturbate using their hands and fingers there are an infinite number of
ways in which people learn to give themselves sexual pleasure, arousal
and orgasm. For example, rubbing the genitals with clothing, rubbing
against other surfaces such as bedding and using specially designed toys
like vibrators and dildos.
The difference between masturbation and lovemaking
Masturbation and lovemaking with a
partner are two separate activities. With masturbation we only have to
consider ourselves and most people who do it are very good at knowing
exactly what to do to bring themselves to orgasm. However, masturbation
does not kiss or cuddle you, or tell you that you are beautiful and
wonderful. Some people think only people without partners or
unsatisfactory sex lives indulge in it. This is not always true. While
it is a normal healthy way to meet one’s own sexual needs when without a
partner, it can also meet needs in a good relationship when there is a
desire difference between the couple, they are separated for various
reasons or one partner is sick and not able to participate in
lovemaking. There are no negative medical consequences at all.
Myths about masturbation
The myths associated with it are
very misleading as they are usually picked up sub-consciously through
innuendo and jokes and are not ever scientifically verified. Some myths
claim that masturbation:
- Can cause blindness or colour blindness
- Can cause hair to grow on the palm of the hand
- You can run out of orgasms (i.e. using up sexual reserve)
- Can cause mental health problems and craziness
- Excessive masturbation can cause decreased sexual stamina
- Can cause fatigue and tiredness
Many people worry about masturbating
too much. There is no right number of times to masturbate or to have
sexual activity. The right number is what makes you happy and works for
the relationship.
It is important that women rinse
their genitals with water once a day, wipe themselves from front to back
after using the toilet, wash their hands before touching their genitals
and always use a lubricant when masturbating. There is no natural
lubrication on the external genitals and around the clitoris so rubbing
with fingers or anything else can cause friction and irritation, and
predispose to infections. Saliva, oil and water-based lubricants are all
good.
There are many general health
benefits to masturbation such as release of feelings of physical and
mental wellbeing through release of brain chemicals called endorphins,
decrease in stress and blood pressure, enhancing sleep, and possibly
improving immunity. And of course there are very definite sexual
benefits to masturbation such as:
- Becoming more comfortable with one’s body
- A way for women to find out what makes them orgasm so they can share it with their partner
- Have the ability to meet one’s own sexual needs without a partner
- There is no risk of sexually transmissible infection or unplanned pregnancy
- Free, unlimited, pleasurable and fun
- It can be a very enjoyable intimate activity for couples who don’t want to, are not able to or don’t feel ready for intercourse
Sexologists advise masturbation as a
learning step for women who have not yet learned to have orgasms. Solo
masturbation gives the privacy, security and unlimited time in an
unpressured space which allows a woman to learn about her very special
individual sexual arousal and orgasm response pattern.
Masturbation attitudes are learned
early in life and a parent’s own sexual beliefs and responses to a
child’s early sexual touching and questions are very important. Think
about what you would have preferred in your own childhood learning about
your body and sexuality and think about creating a positive sexual
environment for your children. It is important to teach children that
their bodies are beautiful, that they belong to them, that their
genitals are lovely areas of the body that can give a lot of pleasure
but need to be treated with care and respect. The belief that
masturbation is a private enjoyable activity should be reinforced.
